I Just Need to Vent...Ok?

I walked up to a co-worker's desk and she said, "Girl, you look so cute. I love that outfit - you are looking so great these days." I've been trying a little harder when I get dressed in the morning. I had gotten into the, "I don't feel good about myself so why bother" mode. That mode is so demoralizing. You totally stop trying and then you feel bad so it fuels the whole emotional eating cycle. Get up, get beautified and feel good all day! That's my new motto.

Back to the story. Another co-worker peeked out from her office and you could tell she thought the other woman was complimenting me because I have lost weight. I haven't lost enough yet for that to be the reason and when she looked she was a little confused. She looked and said, "Oh, wow..." and then she sort of stumbled on her words because I hadn't really lost anything. Finally she said, "That is a cute outfit. You know, there is a girl in my supper club who lost 100 pounds and she gained it all back but she's back on it and is doing boot camp. Would you ever do boot camp?"

I wanted to say, "STOP! STOP! STOP! Step back into your office before you say another word." I know that this woman is uncomfortable in her own skin because everytime I give her a compliment it is deflected and rebutted with a comment about how much weight she needs to lose or that she's not where she needs to be. I get it. However, why do these older women (and it usually seems to be the older, mother types who say these things to me) feel like they always have to point out that I'm overweight and offer a solution for it? It drives me absolutely crazy. It takes a 'I feel great and so cute today' moment to a 'I'll never be cute, I'm just fat and I hate myself' moment in 2.2 seconds.

Allowing my thoughts to degrade is the part I can control. This lady went back to work and I stood there with the other lady and said, "Well, I feel cute right now, without boot camp." She said, "Girl, that is the truth. You own that cuteness." I feel ok now - not bad but not really on the same high. The power of words.

Unless someone asks for help or weight loss advice, don't share it. It's offensive. Don't even get me started on people who analyze your meal for you while you eat it. I don't care how healthy you are...it's rude. Focus on your goals and your health and share freely when someone asks...otherwise, just wait - the moment will come to share your boot camp comment. If it doesn't, trust that they can get it on their own or they'll ask for help if they can't.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.