Day 3: Boundaries

Last night I realized that diversions to a healthy lifestyle are lurking around every corner. Parties. Last minute lunch invitations. A packed schedule. Treats from well-meaning co-workers. Trips. Fatique.

Another blogger noted that perfectionism is a big problem for a lot of overweight people. If the plan can't be done perfectly, why bother? If I trip up and go out for lunch and blow it, why not eat a bowl full of candy that afternoon? Isn't it all or nothing baby?

No. It isn't all or nothing. It's life and there are things we can't control. Sometimes emergencies happen. Sometimes there is only one opportunity to enjoy someone or something. Still, there is a lot about my life that I can control. I can stop saying yes to going out to lunch because I don't want a friend to be let down or I don't want to be left out. I can stop saying yes when I know one more thing in my schedule will stress me out or make healthy choices impossible. I can stop going to a party and ignoring my eating boundaries. I can go to bed when I am tired rather than watching another hour of TV. I can set a boundary with friends.

Sometimes saying yes when I want to say no is right...because I am an introvert (I get my energy by being alone) and can easily withdrawl. I don't want to lose weight in a vacumn because I will never be able to maintain it long term. However, there are other times that I just want to be liked and I don't want people to be upset with me. I want to make everyone else happy while I continue on in my totally unhealthy, co-dependent ways. This is my choice - I am not blaming others. However, I need to change my ways. I need to set boundaries. I need to learn to say no and to trust that my friends will still be my friends. I also need to find non-food ways of enjoying my friends.

Deep breath. This is not going to be easy but it is going to result in health and wholeness. I hope I still have friends at the end ; )