Healing...

This picture has nothing to do with this post..but I want to keep the pictures coming...so here's a picture of two very dear ladies in my life. We threw an amazing 'Breakfast in Bed' shower in July for Laura...she got married...to an amazing man...in September...I read in the wedding. Love it!

I guess the picture has more to do with the post than I thought. So much about my journey to health has been about healing and I totally believe that the spiritual precedes the physical. I can change my physical appearance by hard work...blood, sweat, and tears...and I will feel a type of relief..but it won't be relief that brings peace. For two years I have just sort of hung out at my present weight. Not too much up. Not too much down. However, I have shed mountains of emotional baggage. Self-hatred. Rejection. Sorrow. Isolation. Inside, I feel 100 pounds lighter, I just want it to show on the outside. You see, the inside and outside matched before - I was miserable in both arenas. Now it doesn't. One is full of love and light..and it cannot continue to exist with the other. One has to give...and the outside will be it.

I can't wait to shed this weight but I don't need to shed it to feel good about myself. I feel great now. My frustration is with not having a matching inside and outside. One step at a time. One day at a time and soon the new Bethany will emerge. Woo hoo! Those ladies above, they have been huge in this healing journey. They represent a larger community who has loved me fiercely and honestly and I am so thankful for them!